Empty

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I dreamt of this time for years now.
Being alone.
Not rushing.
A whole day
To think,
To write.

And now I have this much time
But somehow I can’t think
And the words won’t come out.
I can only feel
Your absence
As I walk alone
Leisurely.

What do I do with this much time
In my hands?

It’s only been three days
But it feels like ages
Since I kissed your soft, little cheek
And inhaled the baby scent from your hair
As you peacefully lay asleep
Unaware that when you woke
Mommy would have been gone.

But I will see you again
I promise.

Because I can’t go on for long
Feeling the emptiness
In that corner of my heart
That only you can fill.

 

 

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This Time Tomorrow

thinking of you

By this time tomorrow
I won’t see you open your eyes as you wake
Nor see you smile when you look at me,
Nor feel your little arms around my neck,
As I usually do,
When I greet you “Good morning!”

By this time tomorrow
I will be thinking of you
As the plane takes me
Away from you.

I told you I was leaving
But I am not sure you understood.
I wish I could make you understand,
That I just want what’s best for you,
Even if it breaks my heart.

Don’t hate me for this.
I promise I will be back.
You will wake up one morning.
And I’ll be there.