This Time Tomorrow

thinking of you

By this time tomorrow
I won’t see you open your eyes as you wake
Nor see you smile when you look at me,
Nor feel your little arms around my neck,
As I usually do,
When I greet you “Good morning!”

By this time tomorrow
I will be thinking of you
As the plane takes me
Away from you.

I told you I was leaving
But I am not sure you understood.
I wish I could make you understand,
That I just want what’s best for you,
Even if it breaks my heart.

Don’t hate me for this.
I promise I will be back.
You will wake up one morning.
And I’ll be there.

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Playing Dead

 For My Miming


You used to play dead
When you felt
I wanted
Too much attention.

You would close your eyes
Stiffen your body
And hold your breath for a minute
Not making a sound, not moving an inch,

Making me think
You were dead
That you’d left me
And it was my fault.

You used to enjoy telling people
How scared I was as I shook your body
How hard you tried to control your laughter,
And how smart I was
To tickle your foot to “wake” you up.

Now as I look at how your lids don’t move
As your eyes are closed
Your body stiff and cold to the touch,
I am tempted to tickle your foot again.

But I’m not a child anymore
And I know this is no longer the silly game
That the once-goofy mother
Used to play with her youngest child. 

The machines don’t lie
You’re gone.
You have really left me
And you won’t wake

No matter how many times
I whisper in your ear
Or squeeze your hand
Or kiss your cheeks.

The game has ended.
And I lost.