Batter my heart, three-person’d God ; for you As yet but knock ; breathe, shine, and seek to mend ; That I may rise, and stand, o’erthrow me, and bend Your force, to break, blow, burn, and make me new. I, like an usurp’d town, to another due, Labour to admit you, but O, to no end. Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend, But is captived, and proves weak or untrue. Yet dearly I love you, and would be loved fain, But am betroth’d unto your enemy ; Divorce me, untie, or break that knot again, Take me to you, imprison me, for I, Except you enthrall me, never shall be free, Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.
People raised to believe in heaven and hell, or just raised to be a good person and to be sorry for doing bad things, most likely feel guilty for being bad and continually endeavor (and, perhaps, still fail) to be good.
The sonnet expresses that desire to be good (to be with God) again, and the supplicant is willing to be cleansed in any way (by God) just to become pure again.
Perhaps because it’s the Lenten Season, or maybe it’s just because somebody reminded me of this sonnet, that it’s stuck in my head, but it’s been awhile that I have not prayed like this.
Arrogance? I don’t think so. Too busy living? Maybe. Had enough? Well….
I am a morning person, but I like sunsets especially when I’m watching it sitting on the beach. But I have not always liked sunsets.
A long, long time ago, when I was just 23, I decided to enter the convent. My colleagues back then couldn’t understand why, and one senior faculty (a good friend) jokingly cursed told me that I would cry every night on my first week in the convent, missing my mother (yes, I was still that attached to my mother at 23!) And he was so right! As soon as the sun was only half visible in the horizon, I would start to cry. I laugh every time I remember that episode in my life, but back then it was a terrible feeling.
I like the beauty of the sunset, the cool breeze on one’s skin, and the smell of the sea. It gives one the feeling that in this serene moment, nothing could go wrong. But then darkness sets.
After darkness though, you know there will be light again. And that’s always something to look forward to.