Tag Archives: new life

On Trying to be Good

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Sunset over Mindanao Sea (Bohol Sea), Philippines

My heart has been “battered” for weeks now, so I’m not praying for more; but these days this sonnet has been like an earworm (brainworm) in my head.

Holy Sonnet XIV by John Donne

Batter my heart, three-person’d God ; for you
As yet but knock ; breathe, shine, and seek to mend ;
That I may rise, and stand, o’erthrow me, and bend
Your force, to break, blow, burn, and make me new.
I, like an usurp’d town, to another due,
Labour to admit you, but O, to no end.
Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,
But is captived, and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly I love you, and would be loved fain,
But am betroth’d unto your enemy ;
Divorce me, untie, or break that knot again,
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me. 
 

People raised to believe in heaven and hell, or just raised to be a good person and to be sorry for doing bad things,  most likely feel guilty for being bad and continually endeavor (and, perhaps, still fail) to be good.

The sonnet expresses that desire to be good (to be with God) again, and the supplicant is willing to be cleansed in any way (by God) just to become pure again.

Perhaps because it’s the Lenten Season, or maybe it’s just because somebody reminded me of this sonnet, that it’s stuck in my head, but it’s been awhile that I have not prayed like this.

Arrogance? I don’t think so. Too busy living? Maybe. Had enough? Well….

Sunsets and new dawns 

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Sunset at Paseo de Santiago, Iligan City, Philippines 

I am a morning person, but I like sunsets especially when I’m watching it sitting on the beach. But I have not always liked sunsets.

A long, long time ago, when  I was just 23, I decided to enter the convent. My colleagues back then couldn’t understand why, and one senior faculty (a good friend) jokingly cursed me that I would cry every night on my first week in the convent, missing my mother (yes, I was still that attached to my mother at 23!) And he was so right!  As soon as the sun was only half visible in the horizon, I would start to cry. I laugh every time I remember that episode in my life, but back then it was a terrible feeling.

I like the beauty of the sunset, the cool breeze on one’s skin, and the smell of the sea. It gives one the feeling that in this serene moment, nothing could go wrong. But then darkness sets.

After darkness though, you know there will be light again. And that’s always something to look forward to.

So are you a sunrise or a sunset person? 🙂

New Year’s Resolutions (Or, how to keep my sanity in 2015!)

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From elementary school through high school, we were always made to write a composition called “My New Year’s Resolution” before Christmas break. That was always the last formal theme writing topic.

Believe it or not, every year I still write down my resolutions on my journal. Reading my journals from previous years, I find I managed to keep some for a year or longer; but mostly I failed.

For 2015 and the coming years, I resolve to be kind not only to others, but to myself most of all. I am too old to be making the same mistakes and hurting myself the same way I did when I was 20!

So here are my new year’s resolutions. What’s yours?

1. Don’t be too proud, be humble.

2. Don’t be vindictive, be forgiving.

3. Don’t expect too much from people you care about, be patient with them.

4. Don’t care too much about the lives of the people you care about, live your own life.

5. Don’t forget you’ve made these resolutions before, be mindful of them.

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A beautiful day in Jimei