In the 21st century, the adage “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” has been revised by some people to say, “…words definitely hurt me” or “words can hurt me.” The revision shows how people have given up control of their emotions.

I always believe that it is better to say nothing if you have nothing good to say about another person; I also believe that people who call other people names should not be given the power to control other people’s emotions by getting the reaction they expect to get. Only immature people or bullies would resort to name-calling or ad hominem attacks. And being immature or bullies, they enjoy getting their targets riled up. That is power.

In the Philippines, the word “moros” used to be a derogatory term equated with savagery, treachery, and anything and everything bad. The Muslims in Mindanao were aware of this, and true to their nature of being a tough people, they refused to let a mere word hurt them. They reclaimed the word “Moro” and it has since lost its negative meaning in the country.

The Filipino-Chinese are often called “intsik” behind their back. In 2020, columnist and historian Ambeth Ocampo wrote about the Filipino-Chinese reclaiming the term. But long before that, in 1998 an anthology of Chinese Filipino writings edited by Caroline Hau was published and it was titled Intsik. (It’s available on Amazon, and also at AbeBooks. I got a copy from a friend whose story is included in the anthology.) They had already reclaimed it.

Ugly nicknames, slurs — words that are meant to hurt will hurt only as far the recipient will allow them to hurt.

Don’t let mere words control your feelings and your actions. Don’t let bullies have power over you.