On Forgiveness and Second Chances

 

I have often wondered what Jesus meant when he said one should forgive seventy times seven (Matthew 18:21-35). I don’t think anyone will take that literally (like 490 times), but I guess it means many, many times.

If God could forgive the world for what the world did to His Son (unlike Leonardo diCaprio’s character in The Revenant), then how could we, mere mortals, not forgive our fellow mortals?

But that’s just it. We are not God. We can try to forgive one person many, many times, but in the end the other gift that God gave us –reason, logic — would teach us to protect ourselves from being fooled, cheated or hurt again.

My question then is, is it immoral to refuse to give someone who has betrayed you,  lied to you, hurt you,  for the nth time, a chance for the nth time?

In the parable, the king sounded like a businessman, a moneylender who was compassionate enough to cancel a slave’s debt and actually “let him go”, after the latter begged the king to give him time to pay the debt.

Say for instance, the parable ended there, and the slave did not beat up a fellow slave who had owed him, would the king have trusted the same slave again? Would he have lent him money again? I don’t think so.

My point then is, yes, we can forgive people for the many times they betrayed our trust,for the many times they hurt us. But I think only a fool would give the same amount of trust to traitors/wrongdoers.

To me, forgiveness means accepting the fact that one was wronged, and not wishing the wrongdoer any ill, and actually sincerely wishing him well. But it does not necessarily mean giving him a second chance. Rather, it means letting him go his own way. Alone. Peacefully.

Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.”

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4 thoughts on “On Forgiveness and Second Chances

  1. I think you are right, forgiveness isn’t about second chances. They are two separate things. Forgiveness is about letting go of the hate/anger inside us. It is a selfish act in that it releases us from carrying a burden that isn’t ours to carry. It is for our benefit, to set us free.

    The forgiveness of God in traditional Christian beliefs for instance, does not guarantee the wrong doer admission into Gods home. It is simply the first step. If one wants to be allowed into God’s home the forgiveness God offers must be accepted. The only way to accept that forgiveness is with a fully honest confession, followed by true repentance and a complete turning away from the wrongdoing.

    Liked by 2 people

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