“A pause may give way to understanding; it may silence hurtful words; it may avert a broken heart.”
Cameron, Donna. A Year of Living Kindly: Choices That Will Change Your Life and the World Around You . She Writes Press. Kindle Edition.
It was only last week that I discovered Donna Cameron’s book is available on Kindle, so I bought it right away and read it. It’s interesting how reading about kindness can be very relaxing and actually want you to become a kinder person.
The chapter on “The Power of the Pause” came to mind yesterday when I saw an unfortunate incident at the mall. I was in one store when I heard a woman yelling at a little boy, must be 3 or 4 years old. He was running around, and the woman who was probably the mother, kept yelling at him. I was thinking to myself, why does she have to keep yelling? At one point, the boy hid under the clothes hanging in a rack, after which the woman grabbed him so hard that he was lifted off the ground. Then she hit his head a couple of times. I let out a cry and covered my mouth, and the other customers who saw the same thing looked at me and looked at the woman. The woman also looked at me, and walked away still yelling at the now crying boy.
I know better than to get involved and speak in a language they do not understand. I know she would only be yelling at me in a language I do not understand very well. It’s a different language in a different country with a different culture.
I was shaken. I felt so sorry for the boy. I was ready to condemn the woman for being so violent and irresponsible — why have a baby when you do not have patience dealing with growing children? But I also got to see the look in the woman’s face which was filled with anger. It made me think, surely it was not just the boy’s naughtiness that made her angry? She must be going through something that made her have that evil look on her face while watching a little boy who was only playing happily?
I left the store praying for that little boy and the woman. People may think I should have done something more than just pray for them –if I were in my country, I would, without a doubt. But in another country, I am grateful for the pause.
May we all learn to pause, not only when we feel anger building in us, but also when we are tempted to judge others for what they do.
Thoughts on Life 
Interesting book! Will check this out.
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Hi, Therese, what a lovely surprise to click to your blog and see my book cover! And thank you for your thoughtful musings on the power of pausing. It really is one of the “secrets” to living kindly. I was touched by your story of the mom losing her temper with her son. A pause to think about what she is feeling and what she is doing—and what her son is feeling—would probably have moderated her anger and her behavior.
A pause sounds like an easy thing, but sometimes we can’t and we let our reflex responses override our intentions—usually driven by fear. Learning to pause takes practice, lots of it. But it’s worth the effort. I like to say that a pause gives us the gift of grace. Thank you for making my day!
~Donna
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Thanks, Donna.🌹 I so agree — a pause sounds an easy thing but it can be very difficult especially when there’s a lot of stressors. But yes, with constant practice, it’s not impossible to achieve.
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